Copyright Urban Mole 2017
I’m eight and I might be the only boy with a pigeon inside his head. It’s like blowing air into empty bottles: a sound behind my eyes, as far back as my ears, but a bit more towards the top. Hu Huuuu Hu, hu hu.
Pigeons live in trees, and we’ve been told to be careful walking under trees because a dangerous hairy caterpillar with red spots jumps on you and gives you a rash.
Pigeon feathers seem to be made of pavements, all grey and dirty. I don’t know why they live in the city — everybody hates them. People stick spikes on roofs and window ledges because the flying rats like pooing there but a friend of mine got pooed on and she wasn’t anywhere near a house. Her dad said it was lucky but he didn’t have to go home and wash his hair.
Some people press broken glass into the concrete on top of their garden walls to stop cats walking there but other people put doors in their garden doors to let cats in and out. So maybe some people have pigeon windows in their roofs but I haven’t seen any.
I like to lean out of my bedroom window and watch the sunset. There’s always a blackbird in one of the gardens that sings louder than the motorway.
When we went to the zoo in the summer holidays, we saw lions and tigers and monkeys. There was a reptile house with snakes and lizards but also spiders, which aren’t reptiles. Lots of kids were tapping the glass trying to get the reptiles and spiders to move, but I once put a large salad bowl on my head and tapped the glass and it hurt my ears, so I just looked inside the tanks. Mum and dad aren’t sure if spiders have ears. Maybe with eight eyes they don’t need any.
We also went to a monkey sanctuary, a donkey sanctuary, and a bird sanctuary. The last one had owls, eagles, and vultures, as well as lots of small birds which were colourful and loud. Apparently a lot of the birds were rescued but they didn’t look very happy, especially when some crows landed on the roofs of the cages and then flew off to some nearby trees.
I bought a keyring in the gift shop which is actually a little book with bird pictures in it.
I think the zoo smells nice.
I don’t want any pets because I prefer spaceships. I want to go to other planets and see aliens. I saw ‘The Last Starfighter’ the other day and I wish, I really wish a spaceship would come and visit.
I like looking at the stars but you can only see a couple from my house. I also like dwarves and hobbits and would really like to see one. A friend lent me The Hobbit and it’s the best book after Spaceship Medic by Harry Harrison which I’ve read four times, or five. I like the elves, too. And dragons.
Dragons remind me of dinosaurs and I really wish dinosaurs existed but I don’t know where they would be except the rainforest. My favourites are Diplodocus and Brontosaurus.
Some people spend a long time trying to figure stuff out about forests and seas and birds and animals and space. They ask lots of questions and then write books with all the answers and some pictures. They’re not scared to go out in the dark a long way from any houses and they probably like dogs and sprouts. When I’m older, I want to know the names of lots of things and what they do and why, like they do. I even have a library card and can get out eight books at a time. My science teacher thinks this is a good idea but I told her I’m not going to eat sprouts.
