{"id":397,"date":"2018-03-31T14:32:06","date_gmt":"2018-03-31T14:32:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/?p=397"},"modified":"2025-04-22T08:12:55","modified_gmt":"2025-04-22T07:12:55","slug":"ten-ways-of-getting-out-of-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/?p=397","title":{"rendered":"Ten Ways of Getting Out of Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/10ways-1-e1522506357395.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"197\" src=\"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/10ways-1-300x197.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-396\"\/><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Copyright 2018 Karin Mora<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">1. He slept through several snoozes, cancelling the last. The call from his boss finally roused him.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">2. She woke five minutes before the alarm and sat up with a smile.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">3. He woke five minutes before the alarm and cursed his shitty luck.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">4. She read somewhere the body&#8217;s paralysed during REM sleep and wonders how she wound up on the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">5. He woke to blurred vision and the smell of crotch. How&#8217;d his pants get up there?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">6. Two Jehovah&#8217;s Witnesses ring the doorbell at 10 a.m.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">7. Her dreams of love are a chilly patch of drool on her pillow.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">8. Flying above the city, he finally realizzzt, zzzt, zzzt. Click. Sigh.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">9. Her beard chokes her and wags its tail, purring.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">10. He farts so loudly it startles him.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can you relate?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":396,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[164,46],"tags":[166,167,165,168],"class_list":{"0":"post-397","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-life-and-style","8":"category-literature","9":"tag-bed","10":"tag-sleep","11":"tag-ten-ways","12":"tag-waking"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=397"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54582,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397\/revisions\/54582"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}