{"id":54614,"date":"2025-05-24T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-24T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/?p=54614"},"modified":"2025-07-10T15:27:19","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T14:27:19","slug":"from-currywurst-to-sorry-sauce-by-way-of-normandy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/?p=54614","title":{"rendered":"From Currywurst to Sorry Sauce by Way of Normandy (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Fifty years in the making, fifteen months in the planning: my parents\u2019 golden wedding anniversary is here. Family from all over Albion are about to converge on Portsmouth, helping it sink just a little deeper into the sea. And we \u2014 The Mathematician and I \u2014 have a country or two to cross.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re up at 4, in the pre-dawn, to brew coffee. Sure, we could have had an extra 20 minutes in bed and gone flaskless, but we know what we like, and like to suffer for it. After pouring, there\u2019s a little left over in the cafeti\u00e8re, and we grab a precious 5 minutes by the window. The Mathematician cracks it open to let in the dawn chorus. We hear ducks. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeriously?\u201d I say. \u201cI thought we\u2019d get a Blackbird or something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She smiles and shrugs. \u201cThey sound happy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We set off in good time for the 5.03 train, excite-tired. (The word \u201ctrain\u201d will pop up quite a bit: it\u2019s our primary mode of travel. You can\u2019t be a climate scientist (The M) or decent human (me and often The M) if, every time you have to travel a little out of your way, you thrust through the air like Captain Flashheart.) <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The main station\u2019s surprisingly busy. Our train is surprisingly on time. A good sign, as we\u2019ve only 21 minutes to change in Frankfurt (which used to be 16 minutes too many, back in the days when Germany had the rail service foreigners still believe it has today).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, no,\u201d says The Mathematician, looking at our reserved seats. I check to see if there are any kids, sneezers, or over-fragranced people nearby. No, we\u2019re good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She points. \u201cWe\u2019re going backwards.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah. Fallen prey to the Guess the Direction game. Even when the booking site shows the direction of travel, sometimes the train arrives backwards. Just because.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou going to be OK?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She nods. I almost believe her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The morning light is lovely, even in reverse. Brick, bough, and brook glow golden, Byron might have said. I just think it\u2019s gorgeous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the next station, we\u2019re joined across the aisle by a well-groomed woman who unpacks a flask, a magazine, and a cuticle pen. She spends a few minutes inspecting her nails, then lowers the table in front of her, places her glossy on it, and begins to read. As she does so, she uses the end of the pen as a cuticle pusher, evening out those irregular lines. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I look out of my window. I look out of hers. Push, push, push. Page turn. Push, push, push. I see a Red Kite hunting for breakfast and point it out to The Mathematician. She looks a little uncomfortable. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust a couple more hours.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She nods. \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Push, push, push. Fascinating. She\u2019s completed both hands and is now starting on the first again. She\u2019ll push back to the knuckle soon, surely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I distract myself with a few deer standing in field mist, watching us pass. Reflected in the glass I see Nails. I turn to The Mathematician and gesture with my eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFor half an hour. Do you think she know\u2019s she\u2019s doing it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Mathematician shrugs. \u201cHow about some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Great idea. I look at the screen attached to the ceiling to see what time it is, and am surprised it\u2019s only 6.30. Feels like 9. One of the nice things about getting up so early.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, wow, it smells so good. And the sound as it lands in the cup. We both sniff, sip, and grin. The day just got a little more golden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we pull into the next station I see a man on the platform watching us. He\u2019s standing in the yellow smoker\u2019s box, a fresh cigarette in his mouth. He begins sucking frantically. It looks like a home movie of a kid blowing out birthday candles, played backwards. He stubs it out on the bin, then hurries to our coach, trailing tar. He sits in front of Nails. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He relaxes as we pull away. He pops in some earphones, opens a brown bakery bag, pulls out a bun, unlocks his phone and leans back, scrolling. As he watches vids and eats, he extends a pinkie. It stays out, like a bun-hand antenna, until the last morsel is gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nails, meanwhile, has finished her article and is unscrewing the cuticle pen. A little brush appears. She dips it a few times and carefully applies a liquid over the work she\u2019s done. I look at my own nails. A clipper\u2019s the most I can be bothered with. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As soon as we touch French soil, the wind begins to whistle<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We make the connection in Frankfurt, and even have time to splurge on a hot chocolate and banana bread before boarding. (Both will turn out to be unbearably sweet. We know this. We buy them anyway.) It\u2019s the sprinter train to Paris Est, a collaborative effort between Deutsche Bahn and the French SNCF. Our seats are easy to find, being right by the door, and are facing forward. The Mathematician is elated. They\u2019re dark though, having only a sliver of window. So much for the view \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A delightful woman in her 60s sits across the aisle from us. She smiles warmly. We both want to talk to her, but don\u2019t. As we speed off towards the border, we pick up a few more passengers, including a man \u2014 also in his 60s \u2014 who sits next to her. They begin to converse in French. Perhaps we would have found it hard to talk then. I still regret not doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We cross the border. A great thing about modern trains is the map they display on the screens, along with the current speed. As soon as we touch French soil, the wind begins to whistle past. We reach 320kph. I nudge The Mathematician.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou see that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh. That\u2019s 70kph more than we manage in Germany.\u201d She sighs. \u201cI love France.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trains are full of smells. There\u2019s coffee, beer, bread, perfume, sweat, the occasional mammalian emission \u2026 and smoke. A number of the passengers look about for the source. It seems to be coming out of the ventilators. The train begins to slow. The conductor makes an announcement (in French, German, and English): \u201cI remind all passengers that smoking on board is not<\/i> allowed!\u201d A few nods from the people in our coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We continue to slow, and then come to a stop at a tiny, out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere station. We sit for 3 minutes, then head off. The conductor comes into our carriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat happened to the smoker?\u201d the woman near us asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The conductor smiles and cocks his head in that peculiar French manner. \u201cHe left.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The waft from the ovens makes my eyes float.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ah, Paris. The city sings. People rush or dawdle. We stroll from the Metro and walk the 15 minutes to St Lazare station. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLook at these cakes!\u201d I say as we walk inside. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s an open-plan shop where they bake in front of you. The waft from the ovens makes my eyes float. But we\u2019ve a train to catch. We head to the Blue section of the colour-coded station, flashing our QR codes to get through the gates, which works fine until we arrive at the barrier to our platform. We both scan them several times, getting that lovely uh-uh<\/i> tone from the machine. A member of staff comes over, smiles, and tells us to turn the brightness up to maximum. Voila. The gate opens. \u201cHave a great trip!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not just the weather that\u2019s warm here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Next week: Caen, The Conqueror, and the cuisine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The golden bell tolls; the family are summoned to the hall. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":54613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[213],"tags":[225,224,223,246,209,226,222],"class_list":{"0":"post-54614","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-cf","8":"tag-deutsche-bahn","9":"tag-france","10":"tag-germany","11":"tag-gwasaga","12":"tag-leipzig","13":"tag-sncf","14":"tag-trains"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54614"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54685,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54614\/revisions\/54685"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/54613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmole.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}